The Nice Guy’s Guide to Demanding Respect (Without Being An Asshole)

In today’s world, it’s not always easy to get the respect you deserve. There’s a lot of people that take their frustrations and insecurities out on you every single day.

Getting disrespected sucks. It ruins your day, makes you feel unimportant, and lowers your self-esteem when you don’t do anything about it.

It’s no fun in the park getting walked over, getting ignored, and getting outspoken by people who are louder than you.

And on top of that, if it’s not handled correctly, it builds up a lot of repressed emotions that can lead to crazy bursts of anger, resentment, and frustration.

You know it when you see it — your boss yells at you today more than usual, your girlfriend doesn’t listen to you, or some guy knocks over your drink and calls you a loser — you know.

It’s a symptom of the Nice Guy syndrome, the syndrome where guys feel uncomfortable to assert themselves when it’s needed.

The good news is, with a huge mindshift change and a lot of conscious effort, it doesn’t have to be that way.

So in this article, I’m going to show you how to start breaking out of this Nice Guy loop and show you how to demand to respect from others…without being an asshole.

The Wrong Way To Get Respect

Growing up, I was the textbook definition of a Nice Guy.

I’d retract into my metaphorical shell of shyness when people would deal with me in a way I didn’t want to be treated.

“Hey, will you do this for me?”

The answer from me, was always yes…even if I didn’t want to do it.

I was afraid to stand up to the bully who pushed me around and picked on me in class, my opinions rarely got heard when I wanted to fix a problem, and as a result, I didn’t have a lot of respect from my peers and from myself.

I let myself suffer from people treating me like crap. And it caused me a lot of problems with anxiety, self-esteem, and confidence.

So when I first got into personal development, one of the topics that was constantly on my mind was how to get respected.

How to become a person that people look up to, treat with common decency, and listen to.

That came with a caveat: I didn’t want to become the same person who I previously hated for not listening, putting me down, and not giving a shit about my feelings.

I didn’t, and still don’t, want to step on people’s toes and become an asshole, even if people listen to me.

Regardless of my intentions, when I first started speaking up for myself, I just spoke louder.

I trained myself to speak my mind all of the time, so that way, I was guaranteed to get heard and respected. That should work, right?

Wrong.

Instead of being a shy insecure guy, I just became a loud insecure guy. I disregarded other people’s feelings and became that asshole that I never wanted to be.

This brings me to my first piece of advice.

1. Don’t Demand Respect 

Demanding Respect is an oxymoron. Demands don’t get respect — they get resentment.

Of course we still all deserve respect, but in order to get it, you have to give it first.

That was the complete opposite of what I did when I first tried to get respect.  I “demanded” that people listened to me, and although people heard me, they didn’t actually listen.

I was that asshole who just tried to force my opinion on everyone else, which is still the same insecurity of feeling disrespected, just expressed in a different way.

People who get respected don’t demand it. They earn it by giving people respect first.

Instead of being Nice Guys, they are Good Guys. They:

  • Want to do things for the greater good of humanity
  • Genuinely care about helping people without expecting anything in return
  • Live true to their values
  • Speak their minds when appropriate

Becoming a respected person is all about giving respect first. It’s about respecting your values and what you want for yourself.

Don’t demand respect. Earn it.

2. Apply The 90/10 Principle of Business To Your Life

Eben Pagan, in his $10,000 business seminar ‘Get Altitude’, mentions that successful businesses give 90% of their content away for free.

The remaining 10% of paid content is what brings in the boat-loads of money.

These badass companies offer a ridiculous amount of content for free, and when they ask for people to buy their products, customers won’t mind spending lots of money for it. Free and valuable content pays off.

Getting respect is the same way. Whether you’re the CEO of a company or the president of an organization or simply the host of an event, giving 90% of the value is a critical element.

Otherwise, when you ask people to do things for you, they won’t want to help you out. If you try to say something important, they’ll be less likely to be influenced by you.

Why? Because they won’t respect you.

Think of a boss or manager of a job that you absolutely hated. He probably worked less hours than you, demanded that you print the TPS reports to place on his desk at 2:33 AM, and never once asked about how your day was going.

As a result, you resented this person and wished they’d slip on a banana and hit their head on a rock.

Don’t be that guy.

Instead, put in 90% of the value of whatever situation you’re in, and when you do, don’t feel bad about asking for the remaining 10%.

Are you the CEO of a company? You better be working the hardest to make sure profit margins are up before asking someone else to do it.

Hosting a dinner party? You better not rely on everyone else to bring the food and set up your house for you.

It’s not about getting respect from the other person — it’s about becoming a respectable person yourself.

It’s about creating more value than you consume. People will see that you’re putting in effort in your life, that you’re a responsible person, and that you go after what you want.

When your peers see that, they’d gladly help you out when you need it.

They’ll listen to you. They’ll know your values and will know to treat you with the respect you deserve, even if you aren’t the “nicest” guy.

Think about Steve Jobs. He had his fair share of issues and screamed at his employees a lot, but because he was creating so much value for everyone around him, he had the ability to demand the best from the people in his company.

If they didn’t live up to his expectations, they weren’t in the company for much longer.

Steve Jobs — respected human being.

3. Listen Intently

“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

-Stephen Covey

In his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey describes how effective people seek to understand others first, then desire to be understood afterwards.

This is the complete opposite of most people, who usually wait for their turn to talk or tell someone that they’re wrong before they’ve finished speaking.

“Use empathic listening to be genuinely influenced by a person, which compels them to reciprocate the listening and take an open mind to being influenced by you. This creates an atmosphere of caring, and positive problem solving.”

Listening is the skill that provides the most ultimate social value.

When you listen to people talk, they feel important because you’re giving them undivided attention and care. When they feel important, they like you. And when they like you, they actually listen to you.

“Talk to someone about themselves and they’ll listen for hours.”- Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People

This goes FAR above any loud spoken dominant asshole who pretends to have any influence on others.

I’ve come to notice that these people have an “influence illusion” to Nice Guys, and when I thought I was getting outspoken or getting disrespected by these louder guys, that wasn’t the case at all.

These people weren’t liked as much, and although they spoke their opinion MUCH more and were more forceful about it, it wasn’t taken with much weight.

Don’t let them fool you.

But when you want to get the respect of people around you, it is important for them to like you.

So instead of trying to prove yourself to them by speaking your mind louder than the people around you, seek to understand them first.

Ask questions and try to figure out what they’re thinking. Then, only after you understand them completely, seek to be understood. Your peers will respect you for it.

4. If People Like You, You’re Doing It Wrong

Over the course of running this blog, I’ve gotten a surprising amount of negative feedback.

“This article is bullshit and stupid and helps nobody.”

“You write personal development stuff? That’s lame.”

(and my personal favorite) “Go kill yourself, you’re a piece of shit.”

The best part? That feedback was on my first article I ever wrote. I have since taken it down because it wasn’t written well anyways, but for a period of time I felt like shit for getting criticized on my works.

I’d gotten some comments on some of my other articles by other readers that were personal attacks on me, and initially, it really got to me. And it occasionally it still does.

But as I was re-reading Tim Ferriss’ advice on dealing with haters, I read a little nugget of wisdom that’s rung true in other areas of my life besides just blogging:

“It doesn’t matter how many people don’t get it. What matters is how many that do.”

After letting this sink in to my subconscious, I felt inspired to keep writing even after all the negative comments. I’m glad I did.

I’ve since then received e-mails from people all over the world about how they appreciate the articles that I’ve written and videos that I’ve published.

It has helped me connect with other like-minded individuals, provide a platform for a personal growth, and speak my mind to the Internets.

Had I quit when I received negative feedback from the haters across the globe, I would’ve eliminated all the amazing benefits I got from the people who do get it. The people who do understand and connect with what I’m talking about.

Don’t let the haters get you down in any area of your life.

Expect it, and when you find yourself face-to-face with someone who has nothing but negative things to say to you, just smile and know that you’re doing something right.

5. Don’t Worry About Being Liked

Focus on VALUE instead of being liked. When you focus on value, people won’t like you — they’ll need you.

They’ll love you.

Or they’ll hate you out of jealousy. But they’ll never be able to discount your worth, kill your self-esteem, shatter your confidence, or have any influence on you.

You’ll know your value in the world, and you’ll still be able to influence people with a certain type of respect.

Just like Steve Jobs.

6. Stand Your Ground Unapologetically, But Without Judgement

respect_gladiator

There are some people who, no matter what you do, won’t listen to you or respect you, even when you do it first. As men’s coach Mike Hrostoski says in his article on How To Connect With Anyone, love them anyways.

There will always be people who will try to shut down everything you say, and at that point, it’s not a logical premise — it’s a personal attack.

In that case, leave him with his own garbage and move on with your day.

But if you’re like me and have grown to not be tolerant of people who are consistently disrespectful to you, consider the option of figuring out what the actual problem is.

“Why does it feel like we’re not getting along?”

“What’s the real problem, here?”

If you try to ask questions about it and they’re not receptive, no big deal.

It’s respectful to try and solve the problem, but it’s an asshole move to force something that’s not going to happen anyways.

Don’t keep pushing.

Just focus back on adding value to the situation around you, and go on with your day. No need to judge them — they could just be having an off day/week/life.

But if they keep trying to shut down your opinion or blatantly disrespect you, then stand your ground and do what you feel is necessary.

If it’s an employee or a co-worker, fire them or talk to someone about it. If it’s a friend or girlfriend and this is a reoccurring theme, it’s time to move on.

Stand your ground unapologetically, without judgement, and with respect for yourself.

Conclusion

All in all, if you’re constantly getting disrespected by the people around you, you need to do something about it. You should begin to speak your mind, give more value to the people around you, listen more, and stand your ground without judgement.

You’ll be able to respect yourself for living true to your values and you’ll be able to “demand” respect of those around you.

  • Samuel Hershberger

    Killed it, Maximus. Solid, long read. Keep up the hustle.

    • http://www.innergladiator.com/ Max Nachamkin

      Thanks Samuel! Looking forward to seeing what you have comin for the world in the next couple months.

  • Christopher Wilusz

    Excellent buddy! I like your non-judgement and way of explaining that respect starts with yourself! Keep at it brotha.

    • http://www.innergladiator.com/ Max Nachamkin

      Thanks Christopher!

  • Sean Eyler

    2 elements that you could add to this are: Body language, and ones personal aura.

    • http://www.innergladiator.com/ Max Nachamkin

      Definitely — great topics for expanding this article.

  • Bryan Hellard

    Respect. Good article, chock full of value.

    Now, where is that 10%…

    • http://www.innergladiator.com/ Max Nachamkin

      Shhh…;)

  • Daniel

    “If people like you, you’re doing it wrong.”
    Really? I’m fairly sure that most people do not agree with this statement as written. Your example that follows the statement goes on to support something completely unrelated and unhelpful–it basically says “don’t give up”–something everybody knows.

    • http://www.innergladiator.com/ Max Nachamkin

      It’s just a headline, Daniel. The message behind it is that haters come with the territory of producing content. If people always like you, then you’re not doing enough to warrant feedback (good or bad).

      And on the second comment, all people usually know the truths within themselves, they just need to be reminded of it.

      Cheers!

      • Diane

        I agree with the statement. You cannot be liked by 100% of the people 100% of the time. If you strive for that instead of value, then chances are good that you don’t like yourself.

        • Michael Wilson

          Trying to get people to “like you”, is a sign of low self esteem. Trying to get people to like, and approve of you, is a losing strategy, because not everybody is going to like you…….that’s just the way it is

    • Kilburn Hall

      Better to have stated, “If people like you,why do they like you? Are you doing it right or are they just sucking up to you? I have learned people do not give their “liking” easily. In most cases, you have to earn it. If it does come easily- they are just sucking up to you and time to move on.

  • jenn

    Thanks for this! loved the bit about haters. i almost gave up on writing articles on reddit due to the same type of people. very inspiring :)

    • http://www.innergladiator.com/ Max Nachamkin

      Reddit is a tough crowd so I don’t blame you..glad you decided to stick with it. It’s so worth it.

  • Stephano Sorates

    Really great article, changed my opinion on some points and I actually had some “Damn, thats so clear, why didn’t I see that earlier?”.
    Thanks again for the great article and improving my sight.

    • http://www.innergladiator.com/ Max Nachamkin

      Glad you get something from the article, Stephano.

  • misterdeades

    Love the article, just came here via my homepage http://fuckinghomepage.com I have but one question, how does one apply the 90/100 rule to your life. I spent the whole day at my job thinking on how it should be applied, but haven’t came to a conclusive decision. If someone could shed some light please.

    • http://www.innergladiator.com/ Max Nachamkin

      The 90/10 rule applies to the amount of work you put in compared to the amount of work you ask others to help you out with.

      Let’s say you want a promotion at your job. There’s two ways you can go about it: 1) hope they promote you (the most common way) or 2) put in the most effort you ever had then ask for a promotion because you know you deserve it.

      For a higher chance for getting that promotion, you’d want to put a crazy amount of value into the company in any way you can. Get in early, stay late, do an extra assignment, and help someone with their project that’s “not your job”, land a new client, whatever.

      Essentially, be awesome.

      That’s your 90%. Keep in mind that’s not “90%” effort — it’s 90% of the process to get what you want. In this case, it’s a promotion.

      So, your 10% would be asking your employer for a promotion, and because you’ve put in so much value..you’ll be more likely to get the job you ask for. If you don’t get it, now you’re still in a great position: you know you’re valuable and you can demonstrate that value to other jobs and find yourself a better one.

      • Batman

        If you ever create a similar article maybe include specific quote Theodore Roosevelt gave the Sorbonne in Paris, France on April 23, 1910 in a speech titled Citizens in a Republic. He said, “Citizenship in a Republic

        It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

        • http://www.innergladiator.com/ Max Nachamkin

          That’s an awesome quote. Thanks for sharing, Batman.

  • Chitra Jain

    Each sentence is valuable. Will come back to read this again and again, when things start to deviate. Thanks Max!

    • http://www.innergladiator.com/ Max Nachamkin

      Anytime Chitra ;)

  • Milan D

    Not a native speaker here but great article. It’s clear you’ve put a lot of effort in to it. But from my experience with people, your article raised a few questions to me.

    You say:

    1. The loudest asshole is hated/disliked by everyone (or something similar)

    2. You have to be a good guy instead of a nice guy to be liked.

    I’m not sure you’re right about those points and from my experience the most liked people are people who are manipulators/liars, handsome, funny, assertive and in that order.

    1. Liars and manipulators are extremely skilled in telling the people what they want to hear even if it’s not the truth. People want to be lied to! It makes me extremely sad but it’s the truth. They become addicted to the fantasy world they’ve been projected by the manipulator and would do anything to stay there. That means they will take very good care of the creator of that world.

    2. Attractive people, well they are ….. attractive. I’ve seen attractive people getting away with things others would be ‘hanged’ for. You can be shy, introvert, silent, mentally challenged or anything you want (to a certain degree of course). Being handsome makes people swarm around you.

    3. Funny people make others happy and so more likely to be wanted as company. That is the motivation of a lot of men trying to be funny. It’s hard working but it pays off!

    4. Being assertive puts you on the map. You’re not the quite shy person in the corner but someone with an opinion.

    The more of those 4 ‘qualities’ you combined the more liked you will be.

    I know my perspective is not a happy one but from my experience pretty accurate. I also accept I might be wrong and I look forward to feed-back or criticism.

    • http://www.innergladiator.com/ Max Nachamkin

      Hey Milan, thanks for commenting. Here’s my viewpoint on what you said:

      1) People do NOT like liars. If you can’t believe a single word out of someone’s mouth, how can you like them?

      2) There’s a difference between being manipulative and being influential. The actions might be the same, but manipulative people want to get people to act out of their own self benefit and at the cost of other’s. Influential people, on the other hand, want good for the world and want it to be a better place.

      There’s nothing wrong with having a vision of the world and implementing that vision — you don’t have to be a manipulative scumbag to do it. But seriously, why do you believe that liars are liked?

      If you want to go that route, you could say that ‘Power’ is attractive. But do you think the manipulator/liar is having great relationships? Healthy friendships? Do people really like him? No, but they might try to use him for his power, ya dig?

      2. Being attractive is not the same as being handsome. I know a couple of good looking guys that are terrible with women. Good looks help, but it’s not the end all be all. Character traits are way more important as far as attractiveness goes.

      3. Yeah, but if you’re trying to be funny for the sake of other people then you won’t come off as such. That’s beyond the scope of this article..this is more about getting respect from others if you have none.

      4. Definitely. I’m suggesting this as well. Being more assertive is a good quality as long as you’re a Good Guy.

  • annika

    yup…its all true.

  • Ashley

    Hello, very interesting article indeed. However I have a question, i find the 90/10 principle you mentioned above confusing. In my life I have observed that if you do things for people, or give them that 90 , they start to ask for more. They think it’s their right or you are too naive to give that 90. So as a result I’m a more self-centered person and I don’t do much favors for people since they don’t really know their boundries. But at the same time I agree with not demanding things which gives you a higher position because you are more independant. I would like to hear your opinion about it.

    • http://www.innergladiator.com/ Max Nachamkin

      Hey Ashley,

      Would you give a homeless person a meal knowing that they’ll ask for more?

      Of course. You can always exercise your right to say “no” when they’re overstepping your boundaries or if you feel like they’re abusing your help.

      Max

    • Kilburn Hall

      Usually when something is confusing it means the person is full of shit or not quite sure themselves and just winging it. The 90/10 principle is shit. Nachamkin doesn;t understand it himself. There are winners and there are losers. If you’re a winner there are many ways to become a winner. Helping others is one of those ways. But helping others 90-percent is called “enabling.” You don’t want to become an enabler. I advocate a 60/40 principle myself.

    • Ryan

      Rule number one. Don’t give to beggars, all it does is perpetuate the problem and creates a bigger niche. If you want to be loving, buy them a vegetable or a piece of fruit. The reason we have so many beggars that are on every corner of SF is because people are idiots and keep exacerbating the problem with handouts. Be kind but be smart.

  • al

    thanks for the article, I am a medical student, and when i hangout with other medical students, its hard for my voice to be heard and i feel very low and insecure. most of these people are way more talented and very well rounded, they’re doing better than me in all aspects. since I am a part of the class, and I see them everyday, i don’t feel fit in, and most of the time i feel very outcasted. This article helps me to take everything lightly, and not to worry about the differences, just listen more, and i will stand on my ground when the time comes. thanks again!

  • GoodForAll

    Not just for men, thanks it is helpful.

  • billy

    You lost me at Steve Jobs.
    That guy was an asshole, plain and simple.

  • Zach

    I’ve had to deal with this idea too. I’m still in high school and usually don’t have too much of a problem with it, but #6 is the absolute best advice. Great article, truly sincere.

  • Juan

    I always give respect first and am polite while listening.
    But some people blatantly shut me out when I am giving opinion even when I try to give them respect. Why? But they are OK with the rest of the group.

  • Elle

    So having read this article for some advice and then seeing your personal blurb – being female am I supposed to
    Ignore all of above? ..why simply for men?

  • Stefan Atkins

    Good article, glad I read it. Being a “nice guy” has definitely not been easy for me, will apply this too my life. Thank you for doing what you do.

  • Matthew

    Great article! :)

  • Brent

    Max, this is an excellent article! I am going to face my day in different light….I am going to be a good guy and not the nice guy any longer! Can’t tell you how much this article has inspired me!! Thanks for sharing your wisdom.

  • Matthew

    Kill yourself, you’re a piece of shit.

    • http://www.innergladiator.com/ Max Nachamkin

      That’s an interesting projection of yours.

  • Ryan

    This is retarded. You are basically teaching people to shut their mouths and not have a voice or express themselves. Ladies and gentleman, be yourself unapologetically. If that rubs people the wrong way, who the F cares. They are not people you will want around. This article teaches you how to change who you are for other people. Only the passive will follow your theories. In the real world it’s rat eat rat. Be the biggest, smartest, toughest and strongest and you will get far.

  • Lilith

    How to get people to respect you? Be white and/or attractive. There.

  • Gaga

    You are the Man! Truly respect your writting. Greetings from Slovenia

  • DarkGyro

    I have 1 specific question to ask then:

    I am an outspoken person that calls people on their shit. I only do this to disrespectful & shitty people, good or bad, as long as I am not the only person compromising alone. I have my own standards and boundaries up where I don’t compromise them alone for people(people pleasing); but for some reason being outspoken and calling people on their shit is killing me inside.

    I have taken control of my own life focus on my personal development and growth for a year now.

    • http://www.innergladiator.com/ Max Nachamkin

      Hey DarkGyro,

      Thanks for sharing. I’m not sure exactly how to answer your question without some more details so I have a few questions of mine:

      What about calling other people on their shit is killing you inside? Can you give an example of what was said/what happened when you called someone out? What standards and boundaries are you holding to? Can you tell me more?

      • DarkGyro

        Okay,

        Formerly I was a “nice guy”/(social mask) with unhanded intentions(schemes etc) that didn’t know how to interact with women(both in the real world and online) when I was socially awkward last year(December 2015) until I learn the brutal truth from women in the real world.

        Same thing with “good guy”/complacent(social mask).

        Anyway, presently I am brutal honest in my opinions of people that are disrespectful & shitty to me, since I been training myself for a year to be more unapologetic and not let my thoughts consume me to being negative & affect my health. Sometimes I used the “silence treatment” on Men when they get aggressive and overly emotion disrespecting me and for women I “walk away” without a single word utter from my mouth in regards to simple respect.

        I think my main problem is socially where I now call people on their bullshit consistently and sometimes this is uncomfortable(others it’s confrontational and changes things up on people) that leaves me feeling alone.

        Basically I think too much and have to work on letting things go/forget and go on with my day like nothing happen.

        I am a self consicous person in nature(or maybe self aware really) that is struggling with not regressing back to my former “nice guy” & “good guy” selves that undermines everything I done to better myself as a better person. I have pretty much stop watching television all together and focus more on my studies and relaxing when I am done(full 8 hours).

        • http://www.innergladiator.com/ Max Nachamkin

          Got it.

          Imagine that your relationship with someone else is like a tree. First a seed is planted (meeting them), and as it grows the strength of the roots grow deeper into the earth.

          Now imagine the brutally honest conversations are like strong gusts of wind.

          A strong gust of wind to a seed in the soil will blow that fucker all over the place. But a strong gust of wind to a solid tree that’s been growing for 50 years won’t uproot the whole thing..might just blow some leaves off or something.

          If you feel into the strength of the relationship your in, you can sense what the impact of a brutally honest conversation would do. A lot of times those conversations would destroy the relationship, but sometimes it could make things stronger.

          The key is to restrain yourself from making what would be considered brutally honest comments until you feel deep down that the relationship could hold it. Otherwise this will leave you feeling alone because it causes emotional damage when there isn’t enough trust.

          Does that make sense?

          • DarkGyro

            Yes I think so.

            I am still retraining some things up within myself and praying to god as I go.

          • http://www.innergladiator.com/ Max Nachamkin

            You’ve got this man!!

  • Greg Bernard

    Lots of people have insecurities that they are not aware of that get in the way of effective and rationale dialogue. I am aware of mine but they still get in the sometimes even.

  • Jeff Doe

    “You’ll be able to respect yourself for living true to your values and you’ll be able to “demand” respect of those around you.”

    I wonder, can a person truly be disrespected or is it simply that our values are being disrespected?

  • Noah

    i love it, such good quality! it helps me realize that some people arent worth the time of day if they are so negative and weighing you dow

  • Michael Wilson

    After 33 years in Martial Art, and 25 in the Special Forces, I’ve learned many things…….and one significant thing. in particular. You don’t DEMAND respect, by flapping your gums screaming:”I want respect Motherfucker”, you COMMAND respect by EARNING it…..and those two aren’t even remotely the same.

    Before you even worry about value adding to people around you, (and there’s nothing wrong with that incidentally), you need to value add to yourself first. If you want respect, earn it by becoming the type of person people respect. Firstly, by respecting yourself. Make decisions about what your values are, religious, political and the like, and develop the confidence to live consistanly with them. That’s not to say you have to strut around blabbing about them every two minutes. But a firm set of philosophical values about which you feel strongly, and which you live by consistantly, provide a firm foundation and base for life.

    Telling people:”Just be yourself”, is horrible advice. Since alot of people, especially alot of Guys, have not the feintest idea who the hell they are to begin with. Apart from some lame, overgrown High School Boy;”I’m a “Good Guy”‘ drivel. Make some decisions about who you are first. Determine the religious and political views that underpin your life, then develop the confidence to live congruently with them. You can’t ever:”Be yourself”, however one defines that, when you have no idea who you really are to begin with

    • http://www.innergladiator.com/ Max Nachamkin

      I agree with this.

      • Michael Wilson

        Jolly good dear Boy…You’re welcome Maximillian my good Man. (Don’t mind me Bro, I just have random outburts where I channel my inner Devon Miles. If you remember Knight Rider from the 80’s, you’ll get it):P