7 Reasons Why Guys Need To Try Orgasmic Meditation

  • 7 Reasons Why Guys Need To Try Orgasmic Meditation

    This should be required education for every man on the planet. The payoff will alter your sexual experiences forever.

    -Tim Ferriss, The 4 Hour Body

    One of my good friends likes to tell his friends about a specific hobby of mine. It always gets them very curious about me.

    This hobby of mine is kind of shocking to most people.

    It’s abnormal. It’s crazy. And it’s sexual. All at the same time.

    Because every time my friend tells someone about it, they always have questions for me.

    “What’s it like?”
    “Why do you do it?”

    And after they ask those questions, they always ask me one more:

    “What’s it called again?”

    “Orgasmic Meditation.”

    Yes, meditation mixed with orgasms—female orgasms to be precise.

    It’s done with a partner—between a man and a woman.

    And it goes down like this:

    The man sets up a little area of pillows and blankets so that the woman is comfortable. (It’s called “the nest.”)

    The woman takes off JUST her pants and lies on the pillows.

    There’s a small amount of prep work. The man then gets into position and strokes her clitoris in the upper-left-hand quadrant for 15 minutes.

    Both parties then tell each other about a moment where they felt a sensation in their body during the meditation.

    Afterwards, they get up and go their separate ways.

    Shocking, right?

    I know, I know… you’re probably thinking I’m crazy. That’s okay.

    Orgasmic Meditation is “out there” and it’s not for everyone.

    But after doing this for a couple of months, I’ve realized some things about myself, particularly about my sexuality as a man.

    I’ve realized that there are benefits beyond the surface level that have had an impact on the way I show up in my relationships with women.

    Again, maybe it sounds a little weird. You might be wondering, “How is stroking the clit of a random woman beneficial? This sounds like some perverted sexual practice that hippies do as an excuse to touch each other.”

    I get it. I’ll explain.

    Here are the 7 reasons why practicing orgasmic meditation has helped me in my relationships with women… and why it might be a good idea for you and your relationships—with women and yourself.

    Reason #1. You’ll attract more sexual women.

    tableflirting_om“Would you like to OM?” (OM is short-hand for “orgasmic meditation”, pronounced “ohm.”)

    This is the go-to question to ask someone if you’d like to practice with him or her (asked by either the man or woman). There’s no attachment. I can say yes or no, without needing to provide any explanation. Any reason is OK. And the community encourages this.

    There was an instance where one particular woman asked me to practice with her. I wasn’t attracted to her, so I felt hesitant to say yes.

    I’m glad I said yes.

    Even though I wasn’t attracted to her, I learned something much more important in doing this session with her.

    Many normal women are actually more attractive than some of the model-looking girls that I’ve met.

    They’ve developed their sexuality. And as a consequence, they’re more comfortable expressing it.

    I’ll be honest with you.

    A woman’s physical appearance is important to me in regards to my romantic relationships. I love being attracted to my partner. I love knowing that she takes care of her body through exercise and healthy living. This isn’t to say that only attractive people do this – but appearance often points out these positive choices in the women I date.

    Regardless, appearance isn’t the whole picture. In fact, it’s only a fraction of it.

    And OMing with a woman that I wasn’t attracted to showed me that a woman’s sexual energy is a much larger slice of the pie than I originally thought.

    This was hard for me to internalize and learn.

    But after OMing, I’m more in tune with that feeling. I can tell right away now whether a woman “has it” or doesn’t.

    On the flip side, if I meet a physically beautiful woman without that aura of feminine, raw sexual energy, I’m not interested in dating her.

    2. You’ll learn to appreciate women as they are in reality, not as the media makes them out to be.

    I’ll admit it. Putting myself in the described scenario wasn’t the easiest thing for me to do.

    It triggered a lot of negative emotions in me.

    “Ew, this is gross. I’m not attracted to her whatsoever.”
    “Ew, this is gross.”
    “Ew, this is gross.”

    But then it came up for me – why was it gross? Because she’s overweight? Because I’m not physically attracted to her? Because she’s not “hot”?

    Yes and yes, but most importantly, I realized one thing that had a PROFOUND effect on the way I looked at myself:

    I tied my value as a man to the physical beauty of the woman I was with.

    It’s one thing to not to want to be her OM’ing partner, but it’s another to feel disgusted about doing it.

    That thought alone made me realize how fucked up that thinking is.

    I know some of the guys reading this are the same way (perhaps even some of you women). But I also know it’s usually involuntary. It just… happens.

    Well, after doing this orgasmic meditation practice 8 or 9 times with many different women, some who are physically beautiful and some who aren’t, I’ve come to realize that it’s far more important to connect with all women. Appreciate each and every one of them.

    Because women are amazing as they are in real life, not in airbrushed images and porn.

    3. You’ll feel alive and you’ll remember that doing weird things are fun.

    I can’t fully explain the feeling of having come back from this “meditative practice” where I’ve just met some random woman two times my age, and then leave having done this orgasmic meditation. It’s surreal.

    I always leave thinking “is this real life?” with a big smile on my face.

    Is This Real Life?

    Most importantly, I’m fulfilling my curiosity. Many people reading this might see this as some weird sexual act where guys go for their own “twisted satisfaction.” But I’ll encourage them, just as I encourage you to understand: there’s much more to it.

    Now whenever I feel intrigued about something, I want to try it. I don’t care if it’s weird, or stupid, or “too out there”.

    I want to live a life of adventure and challenge, and now I do. Because doing weird things is fun.

    4. Make sure to blink a lot…or you’ll lose sight (WARNING: hilarity ensues)

    During one of my OM sessions, something funny happened. I was intently focused on finding the right spot to help her reach orgasm, and as soon as I found the spot, it happened…

    My left contact lens fell out of my eye and landed right between her legs.


    The thoughts that started going through my head:

    “Shit, I can’t see”
    “Am I touching the right spot?”
    “My contact just landed on her lady parts. Did she feel it?”
    “Can I even use this contact anymore?”
    “I have to tell someone about this. This is hilarious.”

    I was freaking out, laughing, and trying to focus all at the same time.

    But I continued for the rest of the 15-minute session, and luckily, the contact was still in-tact and right next to me.

    So, lesson learned: make sure to blink in life. Don’t focus so much you’re going crazy. Cause you might lose your sight…

    And if you do lose sight of things, laugh about it and get back on track. Just like the eye contact on the pussy.

    Sounds like a good life lesson to me.

    And yes, for all those wondering. I did use my contact again. Afterwards, another stroker offered me his contact solution and it was all good to go. I made sure to wash it 10x over, so don’t fret…

    Ugh, I know it’s gross, but seriously…you gotta do what you gotta do. Contacts are expensive.

    5. You’ll learn how to “calibrate” with the women around you

    If you’ve read any books in the dating advice industry, you’ve probably heard the term “calibration”. It’s the ability to match your vibe with the woman you’re with so that you can better connect with her.

    Orgasmic Meditation helps you do that in real time without getting rudely rejected in a public place.


    Well, during my time in the practice, I’ve OM’d with women of all different ages.

    I’ve OM’d with women in their late 20’s, I’ve OM’d with women in their 30’s, and I’ve OM’d with women that are in their 40’s and 50’s.

    Each woman, regardless of age, has a certain energy (or “vibe”) that they give off.

    Sometimes it’s a wise, mature feminine energy, and sometimes it’s a young, vibrant feminine energy.

    And after noticing both on a much deeper level than I’m used to experiencing, I’m more capable of matching that energy.

    For example, now if I go to a party, I better understand which women are more interested in going deep in conversation quickly or who would rather be more playful and dance around.

    Whichever mood they’re in is great, and now I know how to connect with them on that level on which they want to connect.

    In terms of social skills, calibration is right near the top of the list — and OMing helps you develop it.

    6. If you feel something, so did she.

    Magnetic Theory of Attraction

    When you feel attracted to a woman, she feels attracted back…as long as it’s an authentic feeling.

    In my program Initiation, I call this the “magnetic theory of authentic attraction”.

    What do I mean by that? I’ll give you an example from OM.

    There was a moment with one of my partners where at one point during the session, things got REALLY hot. Her hand squeezed my hand as she started moaning louder. And naturally I was turned on.

    After the session, I looked at her and said: that was hot. She smiled and laughed back and agreed, thoroughly exhausted from her orgasm.

    But here’s the thing: other partners of mine moaned a lot. They were just as beautiful.

    But I didn’t FEEL anything. It was totally mental. I’d think to myself:

    “Oh, this girl is moaning. Sweet, I must be doing something right”.

    Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

    Because with my partner whom I had a huge connection with, when I hit the right spot, I felt it immediately. As did she. And that’s not something that can be interpreted by words. It’s that natural gut feeling you get when something really turns you on.

    In the OM community, they call this a “frame of sensation” – a moment where something happens in your body – not in your mind.

    The lesson here is that if you feel attracted towards a woman, and it’s an actual gut feeling – not just because she’s ‘hot’ – then the chances are: she feels it too.

    Good chemistry takes two to tango, and you can’t fake that.

    Next time you get that gut feeling when you’re talking with a woman, try assuming she’s feeling it too, so long as the attraction is coming from your body, not your head.

    When you feel it, escalate your relationship with her. Ask her out. Kiss her. Whatever feels right in the moment.

    7. You’ll increase your confidence with women and with work

    After my OM sessions – I’m always on fire: with women, my work and my outlook on life. Orgasm is fucking awesome, even when I’m not having one myself.

    Hell, as the guy in this situation, I don’t even take my pants off. I’m just focusing on the woman and her pleasure.

    And I STILL feel the benefits.

    When that sexual energy between my partner and me builds, it fuels my day.

    Napoleon Hill summarizes the benefits in his classic book Think And Grow Rich:

    Sex desire is the most powerful of human desires.

    -Napoleon Hill

    “When driven by this desire, men develop keenness of imagination, courage, will-power, persistence, and creative ability unknown to them at other times. So strong and impelling is the desire for sexual contact that men freely run the risk of life and reputation to indulge it. When harnessed, and redirected along other lines, this motivating force maintains all of its attributes of keenness of imagination, courage, etc., which may be used as powerful creative forces in literature, art, or in any other profession or calling, including, of course, the accumulation of riches.”

    When we polarize our sexuality in our actions towards the world, we show up passionately. And when we show up passionately, we’re fulfilled.

    Think about it like this…

    Have you ever felt drained after ejaculating too much? It’s no surprise. Your sexual energy is depleted.

    But when there’s a practice like OM, we as guys can build up that energy in a positive environment that doesn’t leave us drained afterwards.

    This is sexual transmutation at it’s finest. And it’s powerful.


    Sure, Orgasmic Meditation may be “way out there.” And perhaps it sounds very “woo woo”. I realize that it’s uncomfortable for a lot of people to grasp and would be difficult to do. I get it.

    But that’s the point.

    It helps us break through sexual shame, understand our feelings around sex, take a different perspective on attraction, and work on our insecurities.

    If you’re interested, then take an Orgasmic Meditation class. See what works for you.

    What do you think of Orgasmic Meditation? Have you tried it before and have you seen benefits? Do you think it’s too crazy? Let me know in the comments!

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    December 18th, 2013 | Max Nachamkin | 22 Comments |

About The Author

Max Nachamkin

Max Nachamkin

My name is Max Nachamkin. My mission is to help you master the core three aspects of your life: your career, your health, and your relationships. I want you to conquer your own world and become the leader of your life.

  • Carter

    Great post Max! You’ve got guts to bring these topics to the surface, and I’ve learned a lot by reading this. At first it sounded like something I’d immediately turn down, but the way you put it, it’s quite interesting. How did you go about finding a place to “OM” is there a community center or what? Any direction for others looking to find a place to give this a shot?

    • http://www.innergladiator.com/ Max Nachamkin

      Hey Carter, thanks!

      Yeah, the whole concept sounds so ludicrous in today’s society that it’s easy to look at it as some crazy hippy fetish. But after I tried it a couple of times, I saw the benefits very quickly.

      The company that runs it OneTaste, requires that anyone who wants to participate in the public practices to take a ‘How To OM’ class. There are classes in most major cities, as far as I’m aware (link is above at the end of the article).

      But in reality, you can learn how to do it through their website or online resources and do it with anyone you want without formal training.

      Regardless, I’d recommend the class – I thought the class was great because they walk you through how it all works. There’s even a live demonstration ;)

      • Carter

        Cool man, thanks again!

  • http://www.hrostoski.com/ Mike Hrostoski

    I’ve done some work with OneTaste (the creators of Orgasmic Meditation) and I agree… it’s a great training ground for learning how to build trust, how to pick up on subtle energy, and how to connect more deeply with a woman.

    Yes, it is a little out of the ordinary, but then again so is sitting in front of a shiny rectangle that bombards you with advertising for 35 hours a week (which is the last statistic I read about the average number of hours a week Americans watch television).

    So is deepening your sexual practice important to you? If not, then don’t bother. If so, then allow yourself to be a little uncomfortable for a bit for the sake of your future self (and your partner).

    PS – That contact lens story. Priceless. :)

    • http://www.innergladiator.com/ Max Nachamkin

      Hey Mike,

      It’s amazing how the things that usually sound so “out there” are the most beneficial.

      I heard a quote once that said something like “if everyone’s doing it, try the opposite. It’s probably better.”

      It was talking about entrepreneurship, but hey, it applies here too.

      Well put — if guys want to deepen their sexual practice, this is a MUST try.

      Thanks for the comment brother – see you in NYC soon!


  • joshlipo

    Really courageous post, Max. I’m going to keep this in mind for the future. I’m sure I’ll be practicing this, and likely sooner than I think.

    • http://www.innergladiator.com/ Max Nachamkin

      Hey Josh, thanks brotha! Give it a shot, you won’t regret it. Even if you don’t like it, you’ll always have a funny story to tell ;)

  • pattybk

    Hi Max, I love this article from a guy’s point of view. As an OM trainer, I often hear the question “what’s in it for the guy?” and you answered it beautifully.

    • http://www.innergladiator.com/ Max Nachamkin

      Hey Patty, thanks! I was intrigued right from the start about it, and now after OMing for a couple months, I can totally see what the benefit is for guys..even though on the surface it doesn’t sound like there are any.

      Also, my goal with the post was to help other guys (and girls) understand what it’s about without sounding too crazy. So I’m glad you liked it!

    • http://www.innergladiator.com/ Max Nachamkin

      Hey Patty, glad you love the post. It’s amazing what the benefits have been, even though it seemed like there would be none on the surface.

      I hope more guys get inspired to try it without feeling shameful about it :)

      OM on!

      • Jeff Kelley

        Im sorry i don’t see whats so great . she gets off and he gets sticky fingers

  • istafiah

    Whilst I understand what you wrote, what you express- i fundamentally don’t get it. Why? bc how come you can control yourself to not do more. And touching someones- body- let alone private areas who you don’t feel desire for is – extremely difficult/impossible. The feeling of desire innately shows us who we are attracted to – so touch/connection is progression of desire. Transformation of pivotal energetic impulse to connect. This for a girl would be like kissing a boy one holds no passion for. Fundamentally horrific

    • http://www.innergladiator.com/ Max Nachamkin

      Hey istafiah, thanks for commenting.

      “Why? bc how come you can control yourself to not do more.”

      The way the practice is set up is that it is separate from any sexual activity. If you’re doing this with a partner in your own home, well, I guess nothing is stopping you. But in a room full of a people, it wouldn’t be welcome/it just doesn’t happen. You can control yourself, it’s not difficult because of the vibe of it.

      “And touching someones- body- let alone private areas who you don’t feel desire for is – extremely difficult/impossible.”

      It’s difficult, but not impossible. That’s the whole point.

      “The feeling of desire innately shows us who we are attracted to – so touch/connection is progression of desire. Transformation of pivotal energetic impulse to connect.”

      That’s why it’s called a meditation “practice”. Practicing the ability to connect on a deeper level. And to be clear, you don’t HAVE to touch someone you don’t want to. Not at ALL – in fact, if you wouldn’t want to, don’t. You could do this with only people you have desire for, or who you are already romantically involved with.

      That was just my own personal experience for wanting to deal with my own stuff.

      “This for a girl would be like kissing a boy one holds no passion for. Fundamentally horrific”

      Only if they wanted to both do it..it’s not forced. And really, kissing is horrific?

      • istafiah

        Okay- well. Its your deal and you find benefit.
        You took me out of context in my kissing analogy; as you know lol – I said sexual connection without actual passion, innate desire- is horrific/ the idea of it. I am obviously so not into it- truly its – well- I stated my opinion prior. But thank you for the clarification re matters I was not initially comprehending- such as its done in a public communal place- lol; this makes it even more ….ahhhh i won’t go on. To each there own. Ill just politely side step this conversation and topic as it is something which repels not attracts. ( and just for context- to state the case I’m not a repressed ultra conservative )I also teach yoga so bodies are not foreign objects- but I must stress and I do feel the need to add that bodies, the sexual aspect of ones bodies- and the connection with people within this sphere is kinda sacred/private and this idea you present- or this activity presented kinda cheapens it all …I really have to close this down as It is clear we respectfully have differing stances. This is your deal, so I shall quietly …take a bow and leave the stage.

        • http://www.innergladiator.com/ Max Nachamkin

          Thanks for stopping by and sharing your opinion.

          I get it – it’s pretty extreme, especially since it brings up a lot of cultural norms and throws them out the window (ex. sexual activity should always be sacred/private).

          I’m glad you brought up the notion of it “cheapening” the sexual experience.

          In my experience and from those I’ve talked to, it’s done nothing but enrich it. Especially for couples who do this practice with each other.

          And I stress again: there is NO SEX involved in this. Just sexual connection. It’s like flirting to the extreme. And flirting doesn’t have to lead anywhere if you make that clear.

          Anyways, I appreciate you sharing your beliefs here – love the discussion.

          • istafiah

            No; I don’t find it extreme. It not even that it goes against cultural norms- a mass orgy would be no doubt compelling- like for instance on Cruise/Kidman’s- ‘Eyes Wide Shut’ – the movie- . I don’t feel that all activity should be private – or that it necessarily is sacred in itself. Sexual connection- IS sex- lol.( yes yes you will disagree). What I find repelling is that all is fair game in the realm of desire- BUT the fundamental is that – the be all and end all is that DESIRE- the body knows. Desire is a physiological thing and one can not instigate this when it is not present. It is in our DNA. If there is this- then all bets are on. If not- this is what is abhorrent. Imagine ( if you will) that the tables were reversed) and it was a females touching boys. Flirting is flirting. This is not extreme, not tantalising – its simply not sexy. If we speak about romantic couples- then- its nothing new- normal. But if no desire is present – sorry this is funny- if no desire- for god sake don’t touch/ or what you call flirt with the other. Theres nothing there to work with! This whole idea is the antithesis of what the sensuous life – which should be compelling and at least sexy- is all about!.

  • Jeff Kelley

    whats in it for the guys

  • Jeff Kelley

    I’ve left 2 comments so far and when I came back to is if the guy that wrote this thing would even write back and tell me to fuck off , even that’s not there . So as I asked before what’s in it for the guy other then just being used as a way for the women to get off. I’ve talked to some one from OM and he told me about the idea of getting ,as he put it , pleasure from giving pleasure. Yes as I told him I do feel good from making her feel good . But that’s were it stops. And where a lot of people would say that if you get one off then either one would want more. So thinking that just rubbing a pussy for just 15 min and nothing more is enough has not really had sexual contact in the real world . You also talk about being connected to the person your doing this with . I can tell you that if your doing this with a “random ” women , other then some one that knows about OM , then all that women wants is sex. Not a connection . So can someone please tell me why would a guy want to be programmed to be nothing more then a sex toy to be used for only 15 min and get the women off and have no release at all. As I asked before what’s in it for the guy. Now I pretty sure I’m not going to get any feed back but if there’s a guy or a girl out there that has the time and the nerve to try and change my mind( and I do have an open mind ) please write back . I’ll ever open myself up and give my email to who ever want to try Moxx82199@aol.com

    • http://www.innergladiator.com/ Max Nachamkin

      I deleted your comments because they didn’t add to the conversation.

      “What’s in it for the guy?”

      Read the article – that’s what the entire article is about.

      And it’s not a sex move that you use when you’re in bed with a random girl, it’s with a partner where you both choose to do the practice together.

      • Jeff kelley

        So let’s see. Just because I don’t follow what your talking about and ask question I don’t fit in. So your not going to even try and bring me around to the way your thinking. So your just going to tell me to fuck off and shut me out. If you would have read what I wrote you would have seen that I was talking about a random women would more then likely get on you doing this. But I’m sure that they would want more . What I have read (and I did say in my post that I had not read the full article that I was only talking about what I had read) I felt that what you were talking about was not something that a random women would understand that you want to do OM and that’s all.please tell me how many women that did not know about OM that have asked you to do it with them. So please tell are you going to try to swing me around to what your talking about or are you going to turn you back and keep deleting my post?

        • http://www.innergladiator.com/ Max Nachamkin

          1) I never said you don’t fit in. I said your comments didn’t add to the conversation. They were also poorly written and hard to understand, just like your current comment.

          I just said to read the article. It answered your previous question “what’s in it for the guy?”

          2) It’s not something you’d do with a random woman who didn’t know about it. But I’ve had many women ask me what it is and why people do it…and then asked me to do it with them.

          Plus, how could a woman ask me to OM if they haven’t heard of it before?

          And yes – I will keep deleting your posts if they don’t add to the conversation, aren’t thought out, and are hard to read.

          Other than that – welcome to IG and enjoy reading the articles :)

          • Jeff Kelley

            lets see when you tell me that i dont add to the conversation your telling me that i dont fit in . Also to add to what you told me i did tell you that i did read a part of you article and was asking about what i read. Plus ive read a lot about what O M was from the very beginning. I see that there is a lot in it for women but i still dont see whats in it for a guy. Yes you are to me a pro writer so where do you get off telling how to write. I can tell you that if no one could understand what i wrote NO ONE would have written back. NOW if you had just answered my questions you would never have heard from me again . I love how you can take a small part of what I wrote about and try and make me out to be dumb . YES sir you did say that you did O M with random women . and now that i’ve been call a poor writer and you have a hard time reading what im trying to ask you and may i point out you still have not even tryed to answer my question I will fade away . I would not want to upset your world to much . And to point out to you sir you did not make you case for O M to me at all . Now if i want to be sexually frustrated and be nothing but a sexual instrument for and women and nothing more then I will try O M and I will try to be a better writer so some one like you can read my thoughts.