Vulnerability is one of the most important factors that goes into living an extraordinary life. It’s the key to healthy relationships: with yourself and with others.
I’d say that it’s something that you should learn…but that’s not the case. Being vulnerable is something that comes out when you unlearn hiding yourself back from the world.
It happens when you stop pretending to be someone that you’re not.
It happens when you free yourself of judging yourself.
It happens when you stop lying.
And once you do, amazing things happen.
Your self-esteem goes up.
Your relationships become stronger.
Your view on life becomes one of love and connection.
And after thinking about it, it’s obvious. Vulnerability is an important life practice.
So in this article, I’m going to share with you 6 articles on vulnerability that I’ve found that will help you understand and apply it to your life.
1. Mark Manson – The Vulnerability Primer
Mark Manson is an ex-pickup coach who became sick of the advice within the industry and after writing a book on honesty, broadened his work to general self development for men (and now women, too). Chances are you’ve heard of him. You might have even seen him on my podcast.
In this comprehensive post on vulnerability, Mark covers two big mistakes people make when trying to get vulnerable: emotional vomiting and using vulnerability purely as a means to an end.
“The greatest demonstration of power and security is to actually make oneself defenseless, to become as comfortable with one’s weaknesses as possible.”
Mark does a great job at showing us that vulnerability has to be from the heart. It has to be raw and real. Otherwise, it’s just another tactic for manipulating your relationships.
But, how vulnerable can you really get?
I mean, could you share the things that you’re afraid of sharing? Perhaps you’re afraid of being alone, or being rejected, or being seen as a fraud.
If you share that, people will think you’re crazy . . . Right?
Not necessarily. In fact, it increases your relationships with others. Check out his article to learn why.
2. Mike Hrostoski – Sex, Booze, Masturbation,and Cold Showers
Mike Hrostoski is The Men’s Coach. He recently created The Conference For Men in San Diego, California last April and is changing the world one man at a time.
This guy knows what he’s talking about. I lived with him in Thailand earlier this year, and one of the biggest things I’ve learned about him is that he lives a life without secrets. His honesty and integrity shines through everything he does.
And in his post, you’ll see exactly what I’m talking about.
Mike’s disclaimer at the beginning of his Sex, Booze, Masturbation, and Cold Showers post really sums it up nicely:
“Warning: This post is 3901 words of straight authenticsauce. Don’t read if you’re easily offended by the word “boner.” Do read if you’ve ever been scared to talk to a girl, drank too much, or masturbated. And put your feet up, cause it’s a looong read.”
This is what raw vulnerability looks like. It isn’t comfortable to write about sex, alcohol, or masturbation, but he wrote it anyway.
It reminds me of when I shared my article on orgasmic meditation to the world. Yikes.
And yet, it turned out to be one of the most popular posts on his site. The world awards the brave.
The point: vulnerability = strength. The world needs the real you.
Mike models this perfectly in his post. It is a must read.
3. Jeffrey Platts – Taking Off My Social Media Mask
Facebook is a manufactured place that can distort your view of reality. Why?
Because it only shows the collection of the highlights of our lives. And, it makes sense. Why wouldn’t we choose to put our best foot forward for the public eye?
We want to make good impressions. We want to be liked. And we don’t want to look weak in the eyes of our Internet friends.
But at what point does only sharing the highlights become inauthentic?
Jeffrey Platts, an authentic men’s coach, talks about how to improve your relationship to social media (and your friends using it) by sharing the whole picture about your life.
His intention isn’t to encourage us to whine more on our Facebook walls, but to look at people’s “flaws” in more of a positive light.
Personally, I don’t post a lot on Facebook. But last time I shared something vulnerable, it sparked a great discussion amongst my friends. I rather do that then post meaningless updates all the time.
Plus, I got madddd likes, brah!
Regardless, if you’re finding yourself thinking about social media a lot, or thinking about how you’re coming off to others, take a look at this article.
4. Sam Hershberger – What I Don’t Want You To Know About Me
This may be one of the rawest blog posts on the internet. It gets straight to the point on sharing himself – the good and the bad.
Sam thinks of everything he can possibly think of that he doesn’t want to share with the world…and he shares it anyway.
Now, you could say that sharing things over the Internet isn’t being vulnerable – it’s hiding behind a screen. But for as long as I’ve known Sam, he practices 100% of what he preaches. And he’s a great role model for stepping up into things that you’re afraid about.
This post is vulnerable down to it’s core. It’s a quick read, but it’s worth it.
5.Knowledge For Men – From Clinical Depression to Building
a Lifestyle Business and Becoming the Master of My Destiny
This article is of a different variety. It’s for the guys out there who feel stuck with doing meaningless work and want to do something more fulfilling.
I include this in the list because the topic of depression isn’t something that a lot of entrepreneurs come right out and say. A lot of people think that successful people always have it together. I thought this at first, too.
Well, let me tell you…that is never the case. Even Tim Ferriss has admitted that he’s seen a therapist during his dark days. These vulnerable posts from entrpereneurs are a great way to understand that you’re not alone if you’re in the same spot.
So for the guys who feel like they’re alone, especially in the realms of business, read this. It gives you a glimpse of what’s possible.
In this article, he doesn’t hold back from sharing his lowest times, but that’s exactly what makes his journey so great.
I first met the creator, Andrew Ferebee, when he was just starting the site…and 6-months later, with a lot of hard work and elbow grease, he’s absolutely killing it. And this post shows you exactly what he went through to do it.
6. Brené Brown – The Power of Vulnerability (VIDEO)
To wrap up, let’s dig deeper into the science behind why vulnerability works in our lives.
Brené Brown studies human connection: our ability to empathize, belong and love.
In this talk, she discusses the heavy weight of shame: the fear of others judging, or disliking, so that we will lose the connection with them. And this is a deeprooted pain: “Connection is why we’re here.”
So what’s the solution? Well, the people who had the least shame – who had the greatest sense of love and belonging – had something big in common:they believed they were worthy of it. That’s it. And by believing, they received so much more.
They were unafraid to share the deepest parts of themselves and to be vulnerable,and in this, their love and connection deepened even further.
This is a must watch.
Where To Go From Here
Sharing yourself honestly with the world is the key to your life. Ever since I stopped being a nice guy and started speaking my truth about my strengths AND my weaknesses, I actually felt stronger.
I had more control in the direction of my life.
My friends and partners trusted me more.
And most importantly…
I stopped hiding from the world.
And what about you?
What are your thoughts on vulnerability? Do you live an honest life?
And if you’re ready to practice vulnerability right now, answer this question: what are you hiding from the world that you’ve been too afraid to share?
Let us know in the comments below!